


The First Man I Ever Killed: Billy

by Beserk



Series: The First Man I Ever Killed [1]
Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 19:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30060732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beserk/pseuds/Beserk
Summary: Homelander gets turned on by the story of the first man Billy ever killed.Shocking, I know.
Relationships: Billy Butcher/The Homelander | John
Series: The First Man I Ever Killed [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213154
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	The First Man I Ever Killed: Billy

"Do you remember the first man you killed?" 

Billy looks up at him, eyes dulled from drink, though still piercing and terrifyingly searching. Homelander hates having Billy look at him. He always seems to be reading Homelander like an open book. 

It's particularly unnerving given that no one else seems able to do so. Homelander is a secret, closed book locked by an unbreakable code. And yet Billy saunters over, breaks the lock and shoves open the cover of the book, and he's not gentle about it. 

Billy has always been able to do that, from the first time they met. At that stupid Vought party eight years earlier, when he'd basically called Homelander a phoney. 

It was the first thing he'd ever said to him. 

He hates it. He really, really does. 

Which doesn't explain why he's here, sitting on the edge of Billy Butcher's bed, watching him struggle out of the drunken daze he's been placed in by (if Homelander had counted correctly) around seven bottles of beer. It doesn't explain why he'd been here before, and will probably be here again. 

He's counted. In the two months since Ryan had killed Becca and been taken from Homelander, he’s been to Billy's place eight times. That’s once a week. 

This week he's come twice. This is time number nine. It’s as if his ability to stay away from Billy is deteriorating. He hates it. He's still fucking here. 

"First bloke I killed?" Billy pushes himself into a seated position. He always fails to react to Homelander's presence the way he should. He seems bored, and slightly annoyed that Homelander is there. He isn't scared, not even fucking nervous. 

The dick knows perfectly well he has Homelander firmly by the balls. Maeve had given him the video. 

He's still in the bed, not making any effort to get up. Just leans backwards on his soiled pillow (this is gross, Billy lives in a gross way. Sometimes Homelander is tempted to get him a maid's service, if only to make the visits more pleasant for him). 

"T'was a bloke in Iraq," Billy says, looking at Homelander intently. "Second day overseas, went on a small recon mission. A group attacked us with rocks. One hit me mate's noggin-killed him. So I shot at them. Killed one." 

His voice is soft and cold. It's a combination Homelander wouldn't have thought was possible before now. He inches forward a bit. 

"You saw him die?" 

"Hit him here," Billy pointed to his forehead. "Saw his brains blow." 

Homelander places both hands on the sheets, "What did he look like?" 

"Young," Billy replies. "Couldn't have been much older then me." 

"How old had you been?" Homelander breathes, moving close still. 

"Nineteen." 

There's a warm feeling going down Homelander's spine, trickling its way to his lower regions. "Tell me more. Tell me how it felt." 

Billy shrugs, "Didn't feeling nothin', not then. Just wanted to get away." 

"But later?" Homelander is inches away from Billy now. 

"Hated me bleedin' self, later," Billy replies. "'Till me captain talked to me." 

Homelander hums, nose brushing against Billy's throat, "What did he say?" 

"Said you ain't never got to feel bad for killin' a man who tries to shank you first," Billy's ice-cold gaze pierces him. "As that was his choice." 

Homelander let out a sharp breath. 

"That's why I'm goin' to kill you one day," Billy whispers, and then he lets Homelander kiss him. 


End file.
